My previous post was business, this is personal. Which means this post will be very short.
I don’t really like the end of the year. Simply, because it reminds me what I didn’t do. Regardless of what I did do. Usually the things I planned.
The world goes apeshit. It’s the Exodus. Anything that can walk or crawl goes to the shopping mall. They shop as if a meteor is about to crash on earth and they will live underground for at least half a year. Their brains malfunction. Probably from the continous loop of elementary school Slovenian Christmas songs that are as annoying as a rash down below. (The evergreens excluded. I’m talking about the “new”, intelectually less demanding songs – for intelectually less capable nation). Most of the people practically move into shopping malls, and as if patological shopping frenzy isn’t enough, the malls tend to play those mindfucking songs on their speakers. Like some mass brainwashing experiment. No wonder they go nuts. Sanity kicks in during a few seconds of silence between one sappy moaning and another, but then all of a sudden Last Christmas comes on and “Hey, it’s Christmas, let’s go shop some more,” and they tow away that double truck of shit they don’t even need for another round of happy crappy insane shopping. Forget about buying bread. It’s petrified and covered in moss by the time you get it to the counter. Waiting in queues is like waiting for a death sentence and in many cases it is, if you check the bill. But fortunately, brainwashed Christmas shoppers don’t know numbers, so the sentence is postponed to the 1st January, when they suddenly regain sanity and realize just how stupid they are. End of the year is a time to buy everything you need, but couldn’t buy in 350 days. So the sheep buy it, when the herders tell them to. And for some reason we tend to eat three times more than we normally do. Why? Is it some subconscious belief that the end of the year is the end of the world? Everybody is hungry at the end of the year, what’s up with that? Were you saving yourself since last January? What the hell? No, I can’t eat anymore! Yes, I’m sure it’s tasty, but I don’t want to puke my way into 2011!
My mom’s like that sometimes. And she’s not the only one. Not by far. There’s a few people coming. A few. And she prepares enough food to feed half of Africa. Can’t you count? This is not the time to show off your skills as a hotel cheff. But that’s not the worst. She makes sure as much food as possible is stuffed down people’s mouths, which takes a pretty agressive marketing campain. Imagine what it’s like for the people who must fend off her attacks. She’s like a shark that keeps coming. And just when they think it’s over (Oh, good, we tried that, yes, very tasty…) she pulls another cake or something out of thin air (tataaaaa), and you can almost see people going “Oh, shit!” in their minds. Makes you wanna wack her on the head with a plate, or if you’re sitting near a window (regardless of the floor) jump through it. Even if it’s closed. I prefer a few cuts over pumping stomach or an enema.
I guess January should be called the dieting month. A testimony of how thought through the new year’s resolutions are. The number one new year’s resolution is going on a diet after the “longest night of the year” (that happens to be as long as the one before and the one after – and a few others as well) is over. Oh, great, you won’t quit smoking, drinking heavily, beating your wife or girlfriend, steeling from old ladies, drinking and driving, evading taxes, abusing your workers, being stupid, running the country to the ground, nooo. You’ll stop eating so much. With the holidays as a reference point. Wow. That was a tough one, wasn’t it? Took some guts. Months to decide. Well, it’s also the only new year’s resolution you’ll surely obey, because there’s no way in hell you could be eating as much after the holidays. It’s a surefire deal. Morality boost. (Yes! I did it!) Well, big deal! Try keeping up this shark-pack-like eating frenzy after the holidays, THAT would be an achievement!
Anything capable of getting into a car ends up on the road. The amazing world of women drivers (sorry, statistics don’t lie) when it comes to parking and clearing the intersections, and the mentally deranged world of alcoholic hot shot dudes racing the streets at night, killing innocent (non-alcoholic) people, who happen to get in their way – as they drive wrong way on a highway. But they’re just happy, you know – it’s December, we have to get wasted, otherwise we’re not Slovenians! Thank Santa and those annoying speakers they have a lot of shopping to do, and most of the time they don’t do it drunk. Giving a dildo to their boss is something they really don’t want to repeat in times of economic crisis.
Ok, so Slovenians party whenever they want to and get wasted whenever they want to (everything’s a reason), and they do it pretty often, but during work hours they’re responsible adults, doing their business as they should, right? WRONG! Their mind’s in the gutter or in a club, wobbling to some cheap popular house music, washed down with a lot of alcohol that’s the key ingredient in having fun! (No, you can’t have fun without alcohol, don’t you know that? You don’t drink? Is something wrong with you? Are you sick? No? Oh… So you’re just not normal…). The disease spread to the government long ago, but the worst symptoms have showed up now. Stupidities like forms for bomb threats. Oh, yeah. Here’s how it goes. You call to report a bomb in the parliament and they will first give you a short lesson in morals (because they know how eager for such knowledge you are). Once you are aware of the misery you will cause to your loved ones who will consequently give even less crap about you than they do now, considering you have to attract attention with a bomb, you will be asked to give your name, surname, probably address, maybe your cell phone etc. And when you’re done, you can detonate (It’ll be a soft women’s telephone operator voice: “Thank you, sir, for completing our form. You can now detonate.”) By then, I’m sure you’ll be glad to.
But that’s not all! If you call in the next half an hour, you’ll get a free ban on kindness and mutual help! Another defective brain child of someone who had a tiny bit too much wine and unfortunatelly didn’t run his car off the road. The proposed stupidity states that if you help your neighbor shovel snow for example, that will be defined as scab working, and of course fined (anything to steal money from you). A simple act of friendship like doing someone a favour and help him out for free will be considered scab working and no “excuse” of being friends will work. Isn’t that great? I can tell most of my friends to fuck off when they need me. It’s a recipee for yet some more egocentric assholes and the birth of new ones! Hail morons in the parliament! So next time an old lady is almost crawling on her four up the stairs in Ljubljana and reaches out a hand, I’ll just go: “No way, lady, you’re not a worthy investment, ’cause you won’t last.” For some, nothing will change. They’ll still be watching as others work their asses off. And again it’s perfectly logical. That way the government won’t have to give anything out for free. Hell, if even friends won’t be allowed to help each other. That’s because there’s no word “friend” in our government’s dictionary. I guess that’s why they keep making new enemies. Simple morals are diminishing. I wonder what kind of music they play in Christmas time on the speakers in the parliament building. 😉
Personally, the government was very friendly to me, heped me out. It’s others who didn’t. But to continue my commentary of the proposed reforms: I think that’s great. I won’t have to suffer the baffled minds of my parents trying to figure out Windows. A NASA scientists task right after figuring out black holes and dark matter. If the proposal sticks (which would be a testimony of degenerated mind) I’ll either have to invoice them or decline help. Leaning to the latter (I’m not charging my parents), I look forward to leaving my nerves intact. 🙂
As you can see, I’m incapable of being personal. That’s because I killed the person in me to let the worker in me live. Sort of. 🙂 I can honestly say I learned a few things in 2010. Just a few. Like the fact that some things are just not worth the effort, not even if you want to do it for yourself. I also learned that being the more loving one is not a good idea, and that ignorance makes the world go around. And sometimes you have to let go of people once close to you, because “close” becomes just smoke and a term to take you for granted without putting much effort in. 2010 was a lot about true friendship and drawing the line where you realize there’s no more “close” in a close friendship. The truth is, how close are you to a person that never says a word about themselves, ha? When it’s all just a few generic words and a firm wall, behind which they hide, I think it’s obvious that they can’t consider themselves close anymore, right? But people move on. Change places and people they take in. Sort of like a club with a dress code. Sad but true, personal relationships are generally becoming shallow, reduced to pokes, likes and tags. I hate to break it to you, but tagging tens of friends together in a generic photo, notes and forwarded drawings, or some cliched card is not exactly a gesture of true friendship. It’s more like saying you don’t have time for them, or you don’t TAKE time for them. But by the time you resort to likes, tags and pokes, you’ve probably already reduced the normal two-way communication between friends to one-way silence, failure to reply or show signs of life. It just doesn’t feel important anymore. Too remote. It’s all part of the new-age big-world social dynamics. People change. I don’t blame them. Decades ago, they changed for the better, nowadays it’s mostly for the worse. As for me, I will never let the 21st Century lax morals grab hold of me. I guess that’s partly the reason I’m not moving anywhere, but I’m waiting to move for the right reasons and without victims. I’ll probably wait a long time. 🙂
I also learned my capabilities, and realized I’m limited in many ways not connected to me. It took some accepting, but now I just don’t give a damn. I guess you could say I now know pretty well, what I want, where I want it and how I want it. Sounds perverse, but it’s really simple. Something most people get without even giving it much thought. So if the search is over and the results are in, where do we go from here? Without a miracle, not even personal life has a way of moving forward. It’s limbo. And you know how they say: If you can’t beat them, join them. 😉