Yes, But Look On The Bright Side…

Oh, my God (that would be the computer that runs my life), I actually have a few minutes to write a new post! Here’s the news. In the last days, I made an urban legend a reality – the new Dax Photo website is finally online. I’m so lucky I work like a madman and earn diddly squat, because if I didn’t, I’d miss all the fun I had working on this site. All the CSS unexplained screw ups, the component failures, it was just so much fun! I really loved kicking my computer, and I learned so many new swear words I didn’t even knew I had them in me!

All good must come to an end, right, so it’s finished. And it has a new blog, a more serious blog, like the “business” blog on site that’ll talk about behind the scenes and contemplate on issues presented in the latest stories, but it’s nothing as serious as this blog.๐Ÿ˜‰ I mean, this one is now my personal blog. If you want to see the stories, and read the official short version of anything worth mentioning from the making of a certain story, try the Dax Photo blog. This one is for telling everybody how stupid I am for not having enough money with me when going to cover Metallica in Vienna, and how I retain water like camels, although I believe even a camel would suffer in a kilometer jam on a rainy day, desperately in need of a toilet. I suggest you RSS both, just to level it out. You don’t want to go too dumb, nor go all geeky.

Dax Photo now has a Facebook fan page. Yes, we DO have fans.๐Ÿ™‚ And we tweet. I know, I know, don’t get me started. And no, it’s not an April Fools thing. Face it, if you thought this was April Fools prank then you should really visit this wonderful country. When you go to Asia, you should be taking antimalaria pills, right? Well, when you go to Slovenia, have something for your nerves in your pocket. You’ll be gulping it down like M&M’s.๐Ÿ˜€

After flattening my ass to fit the terrain of my office chair the entire winter, my overworked mind forgot I’m soon turning 30 and no preliminary measures were taken before pushing the stale meat to run up and down the highest ski flying hill in the world. I felt like I’m 80! Gasping for air somewhere half way up the ski jump, hoping for a corronary so I could get some sleep. But by the time Ski Flying Championships were over, I was like an ibex. ย Never mind two cameras cutting the blood flow to my head (hence the consequences), or my computer taking revenge for my bullying…

But life is good, right? You end up taking pictures of male strippers, surrounded by 500 rabid horny women – what? NO, it’s my job!

You photograph a restaurant by literally running through it (some people’s mind really is tossing on the ocean). And I just LOVE dealing with all the dumbass drunken people raving to a David Guetta song for the fourth time in an hour like they haven’t heard it in years. (Luckily, I find friends among the crowd, that are normal. And YES, mr. Jelinฤiฤ – those who DO NOT drink their asses off are normal, not the other way around.) Guess what happens when these alcoholics get into their cars after the house party. The radio blasts on and its (of course) Guetta! What a shocker! And finally, you should never undertake a story important enough that the universe would want some “bigger name” working on it instead of you, the Loser. Noooo, no no… See, I’m doing these stories, because I’m loaded with money and I love driving through gorges. The real ones do it because the story needs to be told and they have to do it to survive! Yeah, it’s a dog eat dog world out there. Photographers are packing baseball bats to literally beat each other to a story.๐Ÿ˜‰

You know what I have to say to that? To the lunatic assylum outside my window. To the gangsta paradise in (most of) our media? I think a horse I took pictures of the other day said it best. Have you ever heard a horse fart during running? Well, if you were anywhere in a 300m radius you definitely did. It’s like the engine start of a hot rod. And he backed that statement up by taking a biiiig dump at least three times. So that’s what I think about all of this.๐Ÿ™‚ But the world we now live in also makes our lives easier. A lot of people don’t have to work, because no-one would take them anyway. You can also urinate in public, in a crowded place – that’s nice, you don’t have to look for a toilet… Makes me feel stupid for retaining that long in Vienna. I should’ve just get out of the car and take a piss on the cars parked by the road. Hell, no, I’d get wet, I should’ve just waved my johnson out the window and see how far I can piss. See, anything goes now. Drugs are being sold in broad daylight in the middle of the city with people going by like on a open air market (seen that today). Soon, we’ll go buy some potatoes and we’ll be able to get some pot or cocaine along the way. And it’s all party! Fuck professionalism! That involves thinking and it’s not pleasant, it has rules and we dont like rules, even if it’s just because they’re rules. Yeah, what we need is party! There’s nothing like getting completely wasted to a constant beat of house music wobbling the hardly functional brain in my brain cavity.

So keep on smiling, we’re all blessed to value primitivism, party all the time, oblivion by alcohol, companies going under, people getting unpaid holidays… It’s all fun, so SMILE!

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